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Identity crisis of a tarot yogi

1/29/2018

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Oh, the identity our mind creates!
It's in every spiritual book, the question of all questions, "Who are you?"
They aren't asking us what we do, what our name is, or even who we think we are. Rather, who we really are. Now, that's a whole of mystical higher consciousness conversation for another time. Right now, I'm interested in the "who we think we are" gist.
Backstory: I had dreadlocks. Long, beautiful, unique, distinguishing dreadlocks... that happened to be really damn heavy and give my head/neck aches. So, away they went. I'm a practical person after all (and one that believes in residual energy).
Cue quarter-life identity crisis! Who am I?!
​I blend into Durham now, my ice-breaker is gone, my hippie kudos- out the window. Who did I think I was? Why did I feel like these dreads gave me superpowers? Why did I feel the need to hide behind them? Much less, what were those tomboy fears growing up again? Oh right, that'd I'd be mistaken as a male forever.

Who am I? Right then, I was a dread-less and confused lady, finalizing a divorce that seemed to rip my world in two and leading me into being an adult and mother on my own for the first time.
The cherry on top? My passion is to share what wisdom and practice I have stumbled upon in this life through tarot and yoga. To be a source of safe sacred space for people to re-find themselves, reclaim and cleanse their energy, and focus on ways to live their best lives.
Fast forward a couple months, I'm still a little confused, still dread-less, still divorcing, still being a single mom, still sharing my passions with the world, but I've also come to a new conclusion that I've logically known all long.
*I am ever-changing, ever-growing, always whole, and always my best self.* The messier the better. That's how we really grow.  Even through all the spiritual journeying and reading and practices, I still got caught up in the unconscious beliefs that I AM this physical appearance and momentary emotions I am feeling, but my gracious, I am so much more complex than that.
Yoga keeps me in touch with my body and mind, the feels, and the balance.
Tarot clarifies, refines, and directly points to areas of myself that feel lovely and deserve celebration or right where I need healing. 

So, who I am? Even if I told you right now, it would be inaccurate by tomorrow. Even if I tried to consciously perceive my connection to all of life and the universe, words wouldn't do it justice. 
Instead, I am doing my best to honor the process, show up authentically, and share all I can. 
 

Thank you for listening.
:) 

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    Writings from Devon Pelto to share tips, stories and inspirations to keep us connected to each other and our most fulfilling selves!

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