Boundaries (How they Keep you Sane & Happy)

Boundaries...
What are they and why are they important, especially for empaths?

Recently, I’ve had numerous situations beckoning me to look deeply into this topic and practice. I fall in love so easily and see through the bullsh*t people carry around and see their true Light. What a gift! ...until I allow myself to start giving away my power and pieces of what makes me who I am. Not only does my happiness start running lower & I start feeling a little crazy, but I’m in no place to raise someone else’s vibration because I’ve put my own on the back burner… and raising vibrations of the Earth and all the people on it is my life's purpose!

Staying alone in our energy and space is something worth practicing. Our self-love and happiness depend on it.

Ask yourself:

• Do I know how I feel when I’m only feeling myself? Is this comfortable?
  
• Do I allow myself to take up as much space and time as I allow others to?
  
• Do I know what excites me and what my passions in life are?
  
• Can I tell when I’m feeling someone else’s emotions or thoughts?
  
  

Boundaries can be physical and emotional. While we learn to answer the questions above in a healthy way, we learn that others seem to compete with us for our space and energy. Even those we love the most will not understand when they are taking too much from us. We may think that since they are one of our favorite people, we don’t need boundaries. Let me warn you against this belief. Those are the people we need boundaries with the most because our love has a way of filtering our perspectives and we can eventually give that person so much, we could began to lose pieces of ourselves (Yes, even us parents). Without boundaries we can be easily manipulated into a thought/feeling pattern, whether it is our own or someone else’s. It is our job to inform the people around us who we are, what we need and when we need it, even if it’s not easy. How would they know if we don’t even know? This is why consciously creating these boundaries are SO important. When we spend time empowering ourselves, we learn what we need to stay in our power. We learn how much alone time we need to stay grounded and centered so we know our thoughts and feelings are our own, how much space we need when standing in front of someone, how to say ‘no’ or ‘I need space’ as necessary, how much time we need to make a decision and so on.

So what are some ways we can practice honoring our boundaries?

• Pay attention to your needs in the moment, especially when you are with others.
  
• Allow, and even force, yourself to spend time alone, preferably doing nothing or something you love, to recenter.
  
• Practice expanding your energy out and contracting it back in and notice how others respond.

• Allow yourself to say ‘no’ to offers, dates, conversations, etc. Follow your heart and what feels best in the moment.
  
• Allow yourself to be ‘unreachable’ for as long as you need! Let your phone ring without answering. Allow yourself time away from social media. Stay away from the news! (It’s all filtered to be negative and fearful anyways)
  
• Trust yourself and your feelings more than you do others. Only you know what is best for you.
  
• Practice questioning thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Is this really my thoughts/feeling? Do I have a reason to think/feel this way? Does this serve me?
  
• Practice letting go of beliefs, thoughts, feelings and people that no longer support you on your quest for joy and empowerment!
  
  

Your time, space and energy are infinitely valuable! No one else can tell us how to live our lives, what we think, feel or believe. This is our time to get to know and love ourselves.

We can’t fully shine until we do!  

This is just the tip of the iceberg on boundaries!
Do you have questions or need one-on-one guidance creating boundaries? 

Always feel free to contact me through this site or at devonpelto@gmail.com!